Tips for surviving the holidays while getting divorced
If this is your first holiday season during or following your divorce, you may find yourself experiencing significant emotional difficulty now that you no longer have the ability to share holiday traditions with your ex or potentially your children. Here are some tips to keep in mind that can help you get through the holidays if you are getting divorced or finalized your divorce earlier this year.
Start New Traditions
Because you are no longer sharing the holidays with your ex, it is important to begin new holiday traditions. Regardless of whether or not you have children, you may take comfort in starting new traditions that you can enjoy in the years to come.
Don’t Feel Guilty
If you have children with your ex, you may feel guilty about disrupting the holidays for your children. However, your divorce has merely made the holidays different, and different isn’t necessarily bad. If your children see you emotionally affected and unable to enjoy the holidays, they may end up reflecting that same emotional state. If you enjoy the holidays, your children (especially young children) won’t be able to help themselves but also enjoy the holiday season.
Cooperate with Your Ex
When you and your ex have children together, it is critical that both of you cooperate to make the holiday season as enjoyable as ever for your children. You will want to put extra focus on negotiating parenting time schedules around the holidays. If your children have historically spent the holidays with extended family, you and your ex should work together to make sure your kids continue to be able to share the holiday season with grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc.
Don’t Spend the Holidays Alone
One of the worst things you can do if you are getting a divorce during the holidays or have recently finalized your divorce is to spend the holidays alone. If your family and friends invite you to holiday events, make sure to go even if you’re feeling sad – you don’t have to stay for the whole party. If you don’t have events to go to, you can still make connections with other people by joining support groups or volunteering.
Focus on What You Love About the Holidays
Enjoying the holidays can be a lot easier when you focus on the details that you particularly love about the holidays, such as holiday music, decorating, cooking, winter weather, etc.
Take It One Holiday at a Time
The holiday season arguably begins with Halloween at the end of October and includes Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, and New Years. While looking at the holiday season as a whole can seem overwhelming when you already have a lot on your mind with your divorce, you should remember to take it one holiday at a time.
Leave the Past in the Past
Finally, you may want to consider avoiding any places or events during the holidays that may trigger memories of your ex, especially if you are going through or had a contentious divorce. Instead, use this holiday season as an opportunity to begin making new memories.
Contact a Clark Family Law Attorney for a Consultation About Divorce in New Jersey Today
If you are thinking about filing for divorce, or if you have already started the divorce process and are dealing with another matter such as child custody, child support, or division of assets, you need to speak with a qualified attorney. The New Jersey family law attorneys at Team Law represent clients throughout the state, including Camden, Passaic, Union City, and Bayonne. We understand how challenging this time can be for you, which is why we will fight hard to protect your interests, and the interests of your loved ones, throughout the legal process. Call us at (732) 540-1394 or fill out our confidential contact form to schedule a consultation. We have an office conveniently located at 136 Central Ave., Clark, NJ 07066, as well as offices located in West New York, Perth Amboy, Edison, Summit, Newark, New Brunswick, Orange, Plainfield, and Jersey City.
The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you are seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.